Little spoons don't ask big questions
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
