guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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