Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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