These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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