was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
