haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize