I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
