I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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