You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize
