Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
