What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
