it hurts more in the daytime
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize