Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
