For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
