i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
