Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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