I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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