bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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