i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
