his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
