i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
