Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I intend to get homeless drunk
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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