just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
