Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
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i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
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When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.