If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
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We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
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He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever