Pants 0. Shit 1.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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