and next time when you feel me up, do it right
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
