It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
