LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
