if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
