Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
