I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
