They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
