Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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