so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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