I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
