my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
