bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
