Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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