never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
