I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
