Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
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