I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
