dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize