No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
