Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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