The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
