It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
