if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
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I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
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I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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