Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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