is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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