I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
