do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
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No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
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I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.