I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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