toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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