i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
