How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
