i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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