not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Randomize