Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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