Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Everyone says I win the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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