There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
What a dumb baby whore.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
