I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
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the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
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I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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