Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize