alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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